Who do you believe?
Who do you want to believe?
Who do you avoid?
Who do you believe?
Who do you believe?
Who do you want to believe?
Who do you avoid?
The show was mostly fun. Seth is a funny, funny guy. Advertisers put their money where the eyes are. The awards look so much like over-sized microphones, I half-way expected some of the award winners to speak into them. It must have been a safe zone, marked with empty-upside-down-in-the-ice-bucket Moet bottles, untouched deserts, and many, camera-sensitive, serious smiles.
They tested my fashion sense, and I failed again. Am I sexist to say women’s hair and faces stole the show? The black dresses left little else to judge, at least on my computer screen. When they grouped together, it looked like a display of detached heads at a wax museum.
The thinly varnished politics sustained my faith in “Hollywood,” a collective euphemism for anything entertainment, wherever. “Hollowood” would be apropos. Here is a riddle, how many narcissists can you put in one room?
What do men do when they acquire power? Get more; more power, more fame, more money, more “toys” & more women, pretty much, in that order. Women who rely on powerful men have been the first to discover this. In the past, women just put up with them, or artfully dodged them. Those who succumbed in hopes of advancing their careers were often disappointed. A woman knew she had succeeded when she no longer felt the need to comply with the extortion. The show justified and celebrated the maelstrom around the righteous insurrection of women.
The Golden Globe show featured women who survived the gauntlet of sexism, groping, and casting couches strewn along the paths to stardom. No weak sisters, these.
There was irony when Oprah Winfrey accepted the Cecil B Demille award, as he was a staunch, lifelong, conservative Republican, as well as the founder of film.
The rules of sex are both formal and informal for men and women, in America.
Boys and girls learn about love and sex in the climate of their youth. They learn and practice the rules and taboos of their “tribe.” When I was a boy, men were macho. My dad was strong, facile, and strict. Movies were John Wayne, Micky Spillane, and Gone with the Wind. Just after World War II, society’s standards for men were macho, and aggressive; standards for women were demure, cosmetic, social accessories, fiercely-devout housewives, ardent lovers, and stalwart, protectors of children.
Men pursued sexual contact, despite protests from a woman (e.g. Gone with the Wind). “Wolf Whistles” were some crude men’s idea of how to get women’s attention. Boys had a mandate to “get girls” (e.g. American Graffiti). We had no idea how, but we could not let it be known we were kiss-less virgins. Dates were events with timorous, sexual fumbles. Men “scored” with women. They used baseball as a metaphor. First base was kissing; second base was touching breasts; you can guess third base and home run – and strike out. Virginity was for boys to lose, and girls to keep; that was the battle of the sexes.
Boys’ bathrooms or gym locker rooms were the venues for lame boasts of conquest, and face-saving lies. Every boy had a story to tell that would lift his score on the invisible scoreboard of manliness. The desperate would name local, popular boy-legends; girls with “reputations.”
Anyone who watches the series “Mad Men,” sees the power structure, and vulnerability men and women accepted and took for granted. Everyone tacitly agreed that powerful men can press themselves on women. Today, we call them “predators.”
Women did not want these advances then, either. They just learned to ignore or deal with it, and moved on. It was job survival for a woman in the workplace to tactfully divert the advances of the men she worked with.
Then came the late 60’s,70’s, and 80’s; confusing and defining times for both sexes. Young, unmarried women were “liberated.” We had a mix of traditional and uninhibited values. It was a second “suffrage.” Some men and women connected in “adulterous” liaisons. Others lived dual lives, with a traditional family, and a sexual second. Some had “open” marriages that allowed sex with non-spouses.
This historic, buffet of choices causes conflict today. The recent pillory and massacre of powerful men based on accusations of sexual harassment and unwanted sexual advances is a cultural sea change. The information age is giving women a platform, permission, and encouragement to revolt against the subjugating, sexual power men have held over subordinate women forever.
This is a confusing time for men who like women. Men are on notice to be “appropriate” with all women. Are platonic friendships between men and women possible now? What is “appropriate?”
Men want women to like them, but many are clumsy and clueless; women are different, subjective, fickle, ephemeral “mysteries” men cannot figure out; therefore, attractive curiosities. Who will teach men how to be around women? Where is the manual? What parts of the way they grew up do they discard? Straight men are in peril if they describe, notice, appreciate, comment, or have facial expressions in response to a woman’s appearance or attractiveness. That surely limits the range of single men’s overtures to a potential mate. (e.g. “Hi, I noticed you from across the library, in the non- fiction section, I do not know anything about non-fiction, could you help me? Could I bribe you with a coffee?” Or, “Aren’t you the lady from my bank? I always wondered what being a teller is like. Would you have time to help me understand? I’ll buy the coffee. What do you like?”) Still pretty lame, but completely appropriate.
Women spend hours each day to prepare and present themselves to “others.” Cosmetics, hair style, nail polish, clothes, whitened teeth, shoes, and body-shape are endemic elements of fashion and style in our culture. Women often compliment or disparage other women for their presentation; that is not harassment, but it can be “shaming.” Women take compliments from gay men as, well, compliments, because they figure sex is not their motivation.
When straight men compliment women, without sexual intentions, women might still accuse them of sexual aggression. Absent comments, some women might feel ignored, or unattractive, but what are men to do? Confused and threatened men can retreat into a “man’s world,” which is a safe, sane, and familiar cave.
As bad as domestic violence can be, false accusations are ruinous, and non-recourse punishment by our injustice system.
The law did not address domestic violence seriously, until recent decades. Then state legislatures passed current domestic abuse laws in fits of passion without thinking of potential abuse by false accusation. Now, vengeful women use these laws as weapons in child custody, and divorce cases, as well as for just plain spite. There is no defense.
The police are required to come and arrest the accused and take him to jail, even if the accuser recants on the spot. Then, the D.A. charges the accused, even if the accuser continues to recant, (the mean women pile on other wild accusations and get restraining orders.).
Meanwhile, the meter is running on legal bills, and in custody situations, the father cannot see his kids.
If he is found not guilty, he is still out thousands of dollars, may have lost his job, and his reputation. On top of that, he has zero chance of filing charges against the accuser; they will not prosecute for fear that such charges”might discourage real victims from coming forth.”
My son-in-law is going through this right now. The accuser claimed he bent her finger, hurt her ribs, and hit her. She had no signs of damage, did not go to a doctor, and waited 10 days, until he was in back surgery, to call the police. He was arrested, charged, and subject to a 90-day restraining order, which kept him from seeing his 18-month-old son. His employer suspended him pending the trial (next February). Legal fees are over $5,000 so far.
Then, she added more far-fetched accusations: he tore her clothes off, chased her around the apartment, pulled out and administered a rape kit to test if she had cheated on him, then produced a polygraph machine and tested her for lying. (She never mentioned the baby at all.) Since then, she has thought up even more charges; and the D.A. just keeps on adding one ridiculous item after another. Oh, did I mention she is crazy?
He is not alone, by a long shot. Look online for stories of false accusation. Sure, most of the time the charges have substance. But in this case, I am sure this woman used these accusations to punish him and keep him from his son.
The only way to change this travesty, is to encourage/threaten your elected officials. If there is clearly no obvious harm to the woman, AND she recants, and admits she did it out of spite/anger, the allegation should be investigated, not ruining the man’s life.
The accused should be treated as innocent until proven otherwise. Until balance and due process are restored, men can always be guilty until proven innocent, and even then they lose.
Update 10/31/2017: Politicians blame doctors and pharmacies for the opioid crisis, despite the CDC reports that show that illegal drugs are the main source of overdose deaths.
According to the CDC report for 2016, most lethal effects of the opioid epidemic are coming from the streets and not out of doctors’ offices and pharmacies.
“Illicitly manufactured fentanyl is now a major driver of opioid overdose deaths in multiple states, with a variety of fentanyl analogs increasingly involved, if not solely implicated, in these deaths,” the CDC’s Julie O’Donnell, John Halpin, and colleagues reported.
“Fentanyl was involved in more than 50 percent of opioid overdose deaths, and more than 50 percent of deaths testing positive for fentanyl and fentanyl analogs also tested positive for other illicit drugs.”
But where has the government focused attention? President Trump declared the opioid crisis a national emergency, proposed further restrictions on physicians, and, abstinence to potential drug abusers. Why do authorities do this? Because they are ignorant and unable to stop the illegal drug manufacture, sale, or use.
Highly publicized articles, including grandstanding lawsuits by states’ attorneys’ general are pandering to news hungry media and ignoring the pain inflicted on compassionate pain management. Death by dying method (drug overdose), without distinguishing source (legal vs. illegal) is a misleading abuse of authority and power.
The recent blitz campaign against opioid drugs is terribly flawed. According to the latest official data from the National Institute on Drug Abuse (as of 2015) more than 52,000 people died of drug overdoses in 2015. Sad, we lost fewer to drugs than to automobiles (38,000), plus homicide (16,000), and slightly fewer than those lost to suicides (43,000).
But of the 52,000, how many died of prescription drugs vs. illegal drugs? Nearly, 30,000 (58%) died from prescription drugs, the balance of 22,000 (42%) died from illicit drugs.
Opioids include prescription drugs derived from opium (such as heroin), and synthetic drugs (e.g. fentanyl) which are both prescribed, and sold illegally (manufactured and sold to drug dealers). These illegal synthetic opioids are largely responsible for the spike in overdose deaths, because they are 100 to 10,000 times stronger than morphine. Drug dealers mix them with heroin or other drugs to enhance the strength. The potency is often inconsistent and unknown to the user. Illegal fentanyl is a popular additive which is 100 times stronger than morphine. Even a slight mismeasurement is multiplied by 100.
CDC is foreclosing options for legal, and legitimate pain medicine, even though illegal drugs are aggravating the overdose statistics. They are implying that doctors are responsible through overprescribing opioids to pain patients. Pain management specialists, who deal with chronic pain patients are often ignoring real suffering by undertreating the pain to avoid criticism from the CDC.
Readers who have real spine and neck problems know what pain is, even after surgery and other efforts to repair the damage. I have talked to people just beginning treatment and surgery, who are being given glorified Advil and other ineffective drugs, when what their pain indicates is opioids. Some people do get addicted and abuse opioids. I do not dispute that. But, not everyone who takes pain medicine becomes an addict, even though they depend on the relief they get from their prescriptions. Dependency is not the same as addiction. It does not automatically lead to ever-increasing desire for more and more.
Carfentanil is the scariest invention yet. 10,000 more powerful than morphine, this relative of fentanyl has been a recent bogeyman for illicit drug users. Primary producer: China (recently banned). This drug is meant to tranquilize elephants. As little as 20 micrograms will kill you.
This scary substance is, knowingly or unknowingly, used as a cheap booster for other illegal drugs, mostly out of Mexico. Think you are buying heroin, or meth? Think again. Houston police recently seized what they thought was methamphetamine and found lethal amounts of carfentanil instead.
The old days of drug abuse are officially over with the advent of this drug. The next terrorist attack could easily be a batch of white powder. A car bomb or suicide vest filled with this drug could kill hundreds or thousands, including first responders.
The point, let legitimate pain-management doctors do their jobs; spend the millions of dollars now devoted to opioid suppression on the true shadow of death: illegal superopiods.
For quite a while, papers such as the National Enquirer were the only place a reader could find out about the conception and birth of the extraterrestrial, alien children of movie stars.
“Enquiring Minds Want to Know,” led supermarket and drugstore shoppers to buy the tabloid for gossip and secrets of the rich and famous, celebrities, along with eyewitness tales of the occult and UFOs. It only took a dozen or so specious or craftily worded articles per week to keep the America Media publication flush with advertising revenue. No one cared about journalism, or retractions, or misspellings – entertaining fiction was all it was. They had a big enough budget to settle lawsuits and keep printing.
Now the ever-widening maw of the internet has spawned info-fantasy outlets to compete with reality. Exempli gratia: The recent articles about a couple of California “Breatharians,” who claim to live on “energy that exists in the universe and in themselves” and that they are sustained by “cosmic nourishment.” This must put the National Enquirer in the backseat of audacity. No fewer than six news outlets on Google News published the articles; YouTube videos of the couple and their two children have hundreds of thousands of views.
I will not honor this idiocy with more details, but I will shake my head at what the word “news” has come to mean. I shudder at the thought of how many people might believe such unfiltered, synthetic, mental trash. Our children are already screen zombies with waning connection to the physical, emotional, social, and spiritual worlds they inhabit. The gullible, undereducated, and socially diminished cohorts of the future may have little reality on which to build their lives.
The comedian Gallagher quipped, “I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There’s a knob called “brightness,” but it doesn’t seem to work.” That was before cable TV and the Internet.