As bad as domestic violence can be, false accusations are ruinous, and non-recourse punishment by our injustice system.
The law did not address domestic violence seriously, until recent decades. Then state legislatures passed current domestic abuse laws in fits of passion without thinking of potential abuse by false accusation. Now, vengeful women use these laws as weapons in child custody, and divorce cases, as well as for just plain spite. There is no defense.
The police are required to come and arrest the accused and take him to jail, even if the accuser recants on the spot. Then, the D.A. charges the accused, even if the accuser continues to recant, (the mean women pile on other wild accusations and get restraining orders.).
Meanwhile, the meter is running on legal bills, and in custody situations, the father cannot see his kids.
If he is found not guilty, he is still out thousands of dollars, may have lost his job, and his reputation. On top of that, he has zero chance of filing charges against the accuser; they will not prosecute for fear that such charges”might discourage real victims from coming forth.”
My son-in-law is going through this right now. The accuser claimed he bent her finger, hurt her ribs, and hit her. She had no signs of damage, did not go to a doctor, and waited 10 days, until he was in back surgery, to call the police. He was arrested, charged, and subject to a 90-day restraining order, which kept him from seeing his 18-month-old son. His employer suspended him pending the trial (next February). Legal fees are over $5,000 so far.
Then, she added more far-fetched accusations: he tore her clothes off, chased her around the apartment, pulled out and administered a rape kit to test if she had cheated on him, then produced a polygraph machine and tested her for lying. (She never mentioned the baby at all.) Since then, she has thought up even more charges; and the D.A. just keeps on adding one ridiculous item after another. Oh, did I mention she is crazy?
He is not alone, by a long shot. Look online for stories of false accusation. Sure, most of the time the charges have substance. But in this case, I am sure this woman used these accusations to punish him and keep him from his son.
The only way to change this travesty, is to encourage/threaten your elected officials. If there is clearly no obvious harm to the woman, AND she recants, and admits she did it out of spite/anger, the allegation should be investigated, not ruining the man’s life.
The accused should be treated as innocent until proven otherwise. Until balance and due process are restored, men can always be guilty until proven innocent, and even then they lose.